I enjoy the music/singing at my church very much but I have noticed lately that I rarely sing with the rest of the folks there. I remember as a young person my Sunday school teacher telling me she does not like to sing, but to listen and mediate. I guess that was the first time I realized that it was ok not to sing. My parents always sang every word to every song. What I have come to realize is that part of what makes Sunday morning sacred to me is the opportunity to meditate. By meditate I do not really mean some "religious" practice. Most of the time I am thinking about my life and relationships: school and my family. I NEED this time in my life.
Last weekend I was in a bad mood. Can't really determine why but I was definitely ornery most of the weekend. Singing time at church gave me the opportunity to reflect on my poor attitude and why. I did not really figure out why, but was able to stop and try to make the choice to change. Besides the sermon included Star Wars clips and this video as illustrations:
What I have come to realize in the busyness of life is that I require quiet time to think about life. Otherwise I get caught up in lists and tasks and accomplishments. I am the type of person who feels satisfaction when something is finished. Sometimes I get too caught up in "doing" instead of just "being." Sometimes I am more concerned with getting "things" done than my relationships with people. I need time to stop and re-focus on priorities instead of my Google task list.
When my life becomes too busy, I feel stressed. If I am not checking things off my list, I feel stressed. If I take the time to reflect and then I relax and focus on my real priorities. I believe this is why I was ornery-I needed some down time to think. I also think this is my most of my blogging is done on Sundays or holidays. My regular school week does not have time in it for reflection and that is really too bad.